The Mentor: The Adventure of finding the ”Corporate Bullshit” Book

The Mentor: The Adventure of finding the ”Corporate Bullshit” Book

Its Friday evening 5.45 PM and we are already in week-end party mood, so we quickly wrap up the work and went home. We got all the stuff for party and started at 7.30. As usually we were waiting for Murali to start some interesting conversation after the first round.

Murali: Guys, life is becoming so boring. Daily going to office, code..bugs, production..defects..releases…standups…maven..Jenkins…Tomcat… Is this all to life??

Koushik: Yeah bro, life is becoming very boring. Atleast we used to go for trips earlier. But after getting the job no fun, no trips.

Prakash: Then plan for a trip na. Shall we go for Trekking?

Murali: Yeah that’s a good idea. But you know, I was reading some book few weeks back. In that book they said there is a book which contains all the secrets about How Things Work in IT? but that book was lost somewhere in the Karork Forest. Shall we go and find it?

Everyone agreed and thought of starting Saturday early morning.

Everyone got ready with all the backpacks and stuff. The plan is to go to Karork by bus and from there go into forest by walk. Everyone is very excited about the trip and Murali is really determined to find the book.

We reached Karork around 3.30 PM and ate something at near by fast food centre. After taking some rest we started going into forest.

At the beginning it was easy walk but slowly we are going into thick forest with full of big trees and narrow path ways. After going deep into forest we saw one old building.

Deep Forest

We were a bit scared to go into that house but Murali is very much eager to find that book and motivated all of us to go into it. Though from outside it looks like a small house it is very big and seems like a old palace from inside. After going into the house we found there is a tunnel.

Tunnel

After walking through that tunnel for 5 minutes we found a big room locked and an old man is sitting there with a big knife in his hand.

Knight

We told him that we came here searching for the book. Then he said the book is inside that room but in order to open that door you need to correctly answer the question asked by the invisible voice. Only people with good managerial skills can answer the question.

We were ready to take up the challenge. First Prakash went ahead and stand in front of the big door.

Invisible voice: Is microservices architecture good?
Prakash: Yes, microservices architecture scales well.
Invisible voice: People with good managerial skills only is eligible to read that book, you are not qualified.

Next Koushik went ahead and stand in front of the big door.

Invisible voice: Is microservices architecture good?
Koushik: No, microservices architecture adds a lot of infrastructure overhead.
Invisible voice: People with good managerial skills only is eligible to read that book, you are not qualified.

Finally Murali went ahead and stand in front of the big door.

Invisible voice: Is microservices architecture good?
Murali: It Depends.
Invisible voice: You are the perfect manager. You can come in and read the book.

The doors automatically got opened and we all went into that room and found a big box shining like a treasure.

Treasure

We opened that box and found the book wrapped in cloth. The book title is The Book of Corporate Bullshit. Curiously we opened the book and start reading it.

The book contains the common phrases people use in IT companies and their actual meaning.

That’s a good question.

I have no fucking idea of what you are asking.

We will take it offline

I don't want to talk about it now in front of everyone and make myself a fool.

We are getting a challenging project

We are getting a project where nobody has clarity about what we are going to build but we need to deliver it in 4 months.

You are the only capable person to handle this challenging task

Every smart fellow already escaped from it and this reduculous task is going to fall into your plate.

While we are reading the book, someone came running towards us yelling

Noooo…you must not read from the book

Noooo...you must not read from the book

We were shocked and Murali asked why shouldn’t we read the book?

Then the man said:

We, human beings, crave for more knowledge assuming more knowledge gives us more happiness. But, we appreciate the things and enjoy them as long as we don't know them too well. Once we get to know them completely we loose the appreciation for them. 

I used to work as a software developer in a big MNC. When my team lead said "You are the only capable person for this project" I used to really believe it and felt very happy. But after reading this book I know what it means and I lost the ability to feel happy for those appreciations. Anyway that task was going to fall into my plate, atleast I was happy hearing some nice things about me. Now I know they are all lies.

If you continue reading that book you will never be happy again as you know the real meaning of what people say to you. Be foolish, be happy.

Ignorance is bliss :-)

Siva avatar
About Siva
I am a student of life learning new things everyday
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